The Weight of the Glass
Have you ever had a pair of shoes or handbag that you have put in the back of your wardrobe totally in the dark for many months? It is a scientific fact that if you leave things hidden in the dark with no sunlight fungus begins to grow and can overtake the item that they are growing on or in! When you find it you will see that it is now covered in mould and you presume that it cannot be restored.
We also know that when you bring these items into the sunlight they can be renewed. Once in the light, the mould is destroyed and no longer has the impact that it once had.
However, you know that I am not just talking about handbags and shoes. In our journey of life, we have all made mistakes and hurt people, or have been hurt. What we often try to do as humans pretend that these things never happen and get on with our lives. So what do you do with all of these emotions of hurt, regret, shame, anger, guilt?
You can torment yourself by mulling over past regrets and wallowing in shame and self-loathing, but it is a completely futile exercise because no amount of wallowing can change the past. We know that such anguish is damaging to yourself and those around you and the longer you hold onto these emotions the bigger they will grow. This is where many mental disorders begin like anxiety, depression, panic attacks etc.
What you can do is bring all that hurt into the light instead of holding it within us and allowing it to burden us. You cannot be your best in the present if you are mentally and emotionally beating yourself up for the past and feeling guilty and ashamed. Here is a story that may help you understand the importance of dealing with whatever it is that you are carrying emotionally and letting it go.
Once upon a time, a psychology professor walked around on a stage while teaching stress management principles to an auditorium filled with students. As she raised a glass of water, everyone expected they’d be asked the typical “glass half empty or glass half full” question. Instead, with a smile on her face, the professor asked, “How heavy is this glass of water I’m holding?”
Students shouted out answers ranging from eight ounces to a couple of pounds.
She replied, “From my perspective, the absolute weight of this glass doesn’t matter. It all depends on how long I hold it. If I hold it for a minute or two, it’s fairly light. If I hold it for an hour straight, its weight might make my arm ache a little. If I hold it for a day straight, my arm will likely cramp up and feel completely numb and paralysed, forcing me to drop the glass to the floor. In each case, the weight of the glass doesn’t change, but the longer I hold it, the heavier it feels to me.”
As the class shook their heads in agreement, she continued, “Your regrets, guilt’s, shame and worries in life are very much like this glass of water. Think about them for a while and nothing happens. Think about them a bit longer and you begin to ache a little. Think about them all day long, and you will feel completely numb and paralysed – incapable of doing anything else until you drop them.”
Meaning of the Story
Take some time to no matter what happens during the day, as early in the evening as you can, put all your burdens down. Don’t carry them through the night and into the next day with you. If you still feel the weight of yesterday’s stress, worry and negative emotions it’s a strong sign that it’s time to put the glass down.
“Owning our story can be hard but not nearly as difficult as spending our lives running from it. Embracing our vulnerabilities is risky but not nearly as dangerous as giving up on love and belonging and joy—the experiences that make us the most vulnerable. Only when we are brave enough to explore the darkness will we discover the infinite power of our light.”
― Brené Brown