Boundaries: Check Up

This week I thought I would do a quick check up on Boundaries. If you remember, last year we did a 2 part series looking at boundaries, and how to establish them in a healthy way. If you haven’t read these posts, then I encourage you to take a moment to have a quick read.

For those who have started to try to implement good boundaries - How did you go? Just remember, it may take some time to change lifetime habits, but you will get there.

So how do you know when Healthy Boundaries are developing? Here is a short list that might show you how far you have come.

1.     You are defining personal boundaries between you and those you love. You show respect for yourself and are beginning to recognise your great value and worth.   

2.     You are able to act and control your feelings when you need too. You recognise that emotions are controllable, and that they are a gift. They allow you the ability to express what is important to you. You no longer fear them.

3.     You can say 'no' without expecting a tidal wave of guilt.

4.     You no longer blame yourself for everything that goes wrong in a relationship.

5.     You no longer feel 100% responsible for making a relationship work or making another person happy.

6.     You don’t take things personally - You recognise that other people’s behaviour is their responsibility.

7.     Its ok to have an opinion, you can disagree with someone and maintain the friendship.

8.     You become comfortable with receiving as well as giving.

9.     You no longer accommodate everyone to keep the peace, or fear the loss of love if you choose to do what is important to you.

10. You feel at peace with yourself. You are no longer fearful that at any time you will be abandoned or rejected.

If you have been able to make some of these changes. Well Done. If not – now is a great time to start. Just remember these changes in behaviour won’t happen overnight. Be kind to yourself. You are well on your way to a healthier version of you.

Keep Going, Sue.