2018: I choose joy
““Joy does not simply happen to us. We have to choose joy and keep choosing it every day.” ”
Welcome to 2018!
The New Year is an excellent time to stop and not only reflect on the year that’s been, but also look ahead. Did you make any resolutions?
Consider this as a resolution: learn to choose joy.
Sometimes in this world of chaos and busyness, we can often become overwhelmed with the trials and traumas of life. Before we even know it, negativity has become our default state. It creeps up on us sometimes. We get tired, or stressed, or we simply get weighed down.
The good news is that we don’t need to let the negativity win – but instead choose joy. What I’ve learnt over many years is that joy is indeed a choice. We can choose to be joyful every day. The good news is that after making this choice often enough, we can make joy our new spontaneous, and default state.
Below you will find some ways to choose joy every day:
1. Be grateful that you woke up today
It’s so easy to take our days for granted, because we have so many of them. Yet hundreds of thousands of people did not wake up this morning due to famine, war, illness, age or accident. We who did are the lucky ones.
When you open your eyes in the morning and can see, hear, breathe, and feel, say a word of thanks. Your day will start with joy even before you get out of bed.
2. Start the day with exercise
Researchers found that those who exercise first thing in the morning are more likely to do it regularly than those who schedule exercise later in the day. This is because our daily activities often run late, eating into exercise time.
It may be hard to get out of bed early, but starting your day with exercise is well worth the effort (even if its just a few times a week). By the time others wake up, you will already have adrenaline, endorphins and serotonin in the system to make you feel joyful.
3. Create an oasis in the morning rush
Most people have a hectic morning routine. Getting the kids ready for school, rushing through breakfast, commuting in peak hour traffic all add to our stress. Creating an oasis in that mad rush provides the calm we need to feel joyful.
My oasis is reading for a short while, preferably over a cup of tea. I aim to reach my workplace half an hour early, which gives me a little privacy to read in quiet. When I’m late and miss this time, the rest of the day feels like one mad rush. What could you add to your morning routine to create an oasis for yourself?
4. Meditate or pray
Meditation has been scientifically shown to have a huge impact on happiness. Our minds are constantly over-stimulated, leaving no room for the quiet joy that is our normal state when calm.
While the recommended duration is 20 minutes of meditation daily, even one minute or one breath helps. Find a trigger that helps you meditate or take at least one deep breath. Try to do this throughout the day.
5. Make a human connection
The paradox of our times is that we are connecting more with our gadgets, and less with other people. One of the findings in Harvard’s Positive Psychology course is that we are happier when we stop texting while with friends. Of course that is true because we are made for community.
I’m as guilty of being addicted to my phone as the next person. When having lunch with a friend, try to leave your phone in your bag or pocket instead of putting it on the table where it tempts you visually. Focusing entirely on your friend will increases the quality of your time together, and makes you both happier (and more polite too!)
6. Simplify your choices
From soft drinks to shopping malls to social networks, our society has exploded with an abundance of choice. While some freedom of choice is important for autonomy, too much actually decreases our satisfaction. Studies show that choosing from six options results in more satisfaction than from thirty options.
Think of ways to simplify your choices – perhaps you can choose to eat at a restaurant with a simpler menu, or shop for groceries at a smaller supermarket. When we simply our life, we save time on decision making, and enjoy our experiences more.
7. Perform a random act of kindness
Happiness levels have been shown to increase by doing 5 random acts of kindness a week. We don’t have to go out of our way to perform acts of kindness. Just choose to say ‘yes’ when presented with an opportunity, rather than turn away.
Look out for opportunities to show kindness. Hold the door open for the next person, start a conversation with a homeless person, give a hand helping someone carry a pram up the stairs, or leave chocolates on a weary colleague’s desk. If you’ve ever done any of this, you know how good it makes you feel!
8. Develop an attitude of gratitude.
Two specific types of journaling have been shown to increase happiness after just one week. One is to keep a gratitude journal and write down three things you are grateful for every day. The other is to reflect on a positive experience that day. It needs to be noted that it doesn’t have to be a big things - maybe you saw a beautiful flower, or someone smiled at you.
If you start journaling these things, you will train your brain to look out for what is good in each day - basically re-wiring your brains over time to focus on joyfulness.
There you have it. I will be choosing joy this year - I hope you will too.
Happy New Year everyone.